You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
