I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
