Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
