I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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