My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
