I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
