i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
