Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
