She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
