Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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