I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize