both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
