matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
