i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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