my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
