its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
