ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
