I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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