The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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