i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
