Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
