I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
