when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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