I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
