My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
