She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
