you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
