I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
how do you play pong handcuffed?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
