she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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