my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
