who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was so not down for the gang bang
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
