his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
