He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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