Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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