before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
