Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
