Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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