I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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