I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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