im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
