apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
