he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
