Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
PANTIES FOUND
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
