dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
