Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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