No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
