I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
