Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
