Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
