I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I just put wine in my tea
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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