We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
